Wednesday night I had a very uncharacteristic meltdown. I stayed up all night crying. But you’ve already read about that. I’ve gotten a grip now. Thursday was much better. But I think everyone was surprised that I could have so dramatic a freakout. I was even more surprised that I told anyone (never mind EVERYONE) about it. I like to play things close to the chest. I don’t like to melt down, and if I do, I like nobody to know about it.
But I’ve realized that that’s really pretty dishonest. (See how I throw all those qualifiers in there, it’s dishonest. That’s it.) People seem to assume that I’m doing this missionary thing because I have some quality that separates the missionaries from the non-missionaries. (The wrongness of the “non-missionary” title is a subject for another post). I don’t. I’m not braver, or stronger, or more together. I’m just a people. I just happen to be called to go to another country and I’m relying on Jesus to get me through each day, just like you. That’s honest. And it appears that sometimes I meltdown and cry all night. And you know what? That’s okay. And I found out that when I’m honest, I get help.
Help arrived! The troops rallied. Scott came home early (he left work at 8:30am so he was home at 4pm). My mother and sister came down for lunch today. Everybody is treating me as if I’m very delicate and looking at me as if one of my limbs may suddenly turn into a killer python or something.
Photo Credit: Rough Green Snake by Crookrw on flickr http://www.flickr.com/photos/richardwc/4938625118/
It’s okay. I’m all better now. No more crying. I promise. For now.
But staying up all night Wednesday did take a bit of a toll on my judgment. Thursday I did what every rational person does after only getting three hours of sleep. I bought a domain name. Then I haunted GoDaddy on Twitter until I figured out what I was doing wrong. (Translation: I bought a domain name and had absolutely no idea what to do next. I’m sure I’ve earned a reputation at GoDaddy already)
This is it!! Isn’t it so pretty? It has red in it!
Then I went to sleep and woke up and bought jeans to replace the ones with the holes in them.
I have had a couple of moments today, but they weren’t meltdown moments, they were more like “Did I just stand here at the counter and stare into space and eat three pancakes?” moments.
So, this may not seem like a very productive day, but I actually got four things checked off my moving list,
Have Lunch With Mom and Sister,
Eat Pancakes and Not Realize it While Staring Into Space,
Be Honest About Being Human