Just Love Mom

Life with the mom of a missionary family

Monthly Archives: September 2011

Thailand Countdown – 5 Weeks, I hope

Well, I’ve been holding off on this update because I wanted to give you GOOD NEWS!! But there isn’t any this week, so I’ll just fill you in on what’s going on.

We don’t have our visa yet.

We’ve been approved by Thailand. We were told that the papers had been been sent from Thailand to Ottawa. Scott took the necessary time off and we went to pick them up. They weren’t there. They were sent again. They’re still not there. We are now entering round 5 of sending and not receiving.

This is the mystery that is government.

Does this story seem a bit familiar? Probably because you’ve heard it here
from Amber and Matthew Price. Only difference is they’re here on a “vacation” from Poland, and she’s pregnant. So the whole where are we going to have the baby? thing must be weighing on their minds a bit. If you only have time to pray for one missionary, you should probably pray for them.

So, what are we doing now?

We’re Believing

We’ve been tempted to give up. But every time we are reminded in little ways to keep praying. Sometimes it’s through a friend. Sometimes it’s through a blog that someone has tweeted like this one from Ron Edmondson

We’re Planning

We obviously can’t do anything productive at this stage, like book tickets, but we can dream. And we can plan. And we can read exciting emails from our friends that are already in Bangkok.

We’re trusting

Sometimes things don’t “work out”. That visa may never come. We’re trusting that God knows what he’s doing. Lets be realistic. We all know that God could put his pinky down and the whole thing would be cleared up. He also could have given our friend Greg a jolt so that he remembered that he had left his LAPTOP on the roof of the car. Sometimes He doesn’t. And that’s cool with us. (Maybe not so cool with Greg)

Greg's not-so-fly, non-flying laptop


So, what about you? What do you do when things don’t go quite as smoothly as you’ve planned?

Some thoughts about Hell- Happy Wednesday!

A few months ago Rob Bell released his book talking about Hell. It was a controversial book. Lots of people wrote responses to it on their blogs. Lots of stuff on Twitter about it.

I didn’t read it.

I don’t have time for controversial books right now.

So, I’m not really sure what Rob Bell thinks about hell.

When we lived in Michigan I used to go to Rob’s church. Not every week. Once a month our church would have no evening service. So we would drive up to Mars Hill.

During one service, Rob had the platform set up like a restaurant. All through the service, about 15 people were eating sandwiches at little cafe tables. On every seat in the auditorium was a blank bill like you’d get in a diner. The sermon was on Grace. The main idea was, “God paid the bill.” By the end of his talk, the room was filled with hundreds of crying people, many of them college students, scribbling down their fears, their regrets, on these bills and rushing to the front to let Jesus pay. The group that the American Church calls the missing generation was on its knees in a refurbished strip mall.

This is what my church would call an Altar Call. This is where we would acknowledge that people had turned their lives over to God. Let Jesus take the sacrifice for their sins. Then we would let them into heaven.

I’m not sure Rob ever mentioned Hell.

So, I’m not sure what he thinks about it.

What do I think about it? What do you think about it?

I know some things. I know that Earth is pretty terrible. Earth is what those college students wrote on their bills.

I know that God loves us. God’s love is what brought those students to the altar.

I also know that the presence of God is amazing. I’ve been there a few times.

I know that if there’s a promise of being in that presence all the time, I want it.

I know that If there’s a risk of giving it up forever, I want to avoid it.

So, no theology here. No Bible verses quoted. Grace and love and forgiveness and hell have come up in conversation lately, and I just wanted to get some thoughts down about it.

Really Lord? Like a Little Child?

I have a little child. I’ve actually had 4. Three of them, thankfully, are now either bigger children or teenagers. Yesterday I took my little child to the photo place at Wal-Mart. I needed to get passport photos of all five of us. She was unhappy with the idea. She let us know. She let everyone know. I’m sure the Wal-Mart employees are still talking about her. She’s a screamer. She’s screaming right now. It’s nap time. She’s unhappy about that.

At least she’s not a biter. I’ve had a biter.

There’s a part in the Bible where Jesus says you have to come to the Father like a little child. I look at my little child. Her face all red, snot running all over the place, her eyes all puffy, and her mouth open soooo wide, screaming, and I think, Really Lord? Like a little child?

This question may not puzzle theologians. I’ve heard people preach on this. They say things like “Little children are trusting, they get in the car when mom is driving and just go along for the ride.” Theologians obviously don’t wrestle too many preschoolers into car seats. When was the last time your little child just “went along for the ride?”

It may not puzzle theologians, but I’m pretty sure a mother or two has scratched her head over this. At least when that little child is still a little child and not a cherub caught forever in some absolutely adorable pose on a hard drive.

caught forever in adorableness

Okay. Here’s two thoughts. These are the only thing that come to my sleep deprived over-taxed-by-tantrums mind. The two things that little children do that God wants us to do. They ask and they abide.

Little children ask. Have you ever had a two year old ask you for something? They don’t just ask. They ask and ask and ask and ask and you have to interrupt them to answer. Jesus tells stories about people who are asking for things. They finally get what they want by being incredibly persistent and annoying. He says we’re to pray like that. That’s how a little child would pray. In persistence and expecting results.

You have three choices when a two year old asks you for something: continue to listen to “mommy I want that” over and over; give her what she wants; or say no, and listen to this: (and nobody wants to listen to this)

Little children abide. When they’re not screaming, they’re beside you. They’re on top of you. They’re so close they might crawl right inside you. Jesus says to abide in him. Stay, remain, continue. Little children do that.

baby abiding

We have just over 6 weeks until we move to Thailand, and so I thought I’d share a little bit about stress and how I deal with it.

If there’s anything I’m truly an expert in, it’s stressful situations. Where to start with my stress resume… I have four kids. The oldest are twins. They were colicky, premie twins. We’ve moved 24 times since the oldest have been born. That’s moving while pregnant, with a newborn, and almost every year at Christmas. I’ve lived for months at a time in a tiny long-term hotel room with those kids. We’ve moved to two countries that are not our native country. We’re moving to a third. These past two years I’ve been a “single” mom in Canada during the week while my husband works in the USA. Enough stress? I’ve also walked through physical illness (my own), mental illness (someone else’s), a high risk pregnancy, bed rest, and trying to watch NFL games in Canada. That’s right. I haven’t watched a Packers game at all this season. So I’m familiar with stress.

A disclaimer: Now this isn’t major stress. I’ve never been divorced. I’m not widowed. I don’t have a terminal illness. All of my children are well. But even if you are going through something major, you may be able to glean something here.

Now, despite the stressful situations I’ve gone through, I am a relatively stress free person. My personality is part of it, but I also put alot of effort into being low stress in a high stress life. I obviously can’t share everything, but here’s a short list of what I do. I’ve tried to make it more of a HOW list than a WHAT list so that you can use some of these ideas.

1. I Don’t eat that.

Once upon a time I had stress. Then I cut out gluten. If you are an unusually stressed-out person, you may want to check with your doctor about food problems. Gluten, dairy and red meat can all cause stressful feelings in some people. Cutting out junk foods, empty carbs and sugars will also help your stress level. You’ve done enough reading to know that they mess up your blood sugar levels and make you irritable and more easily stressed.

2. I Go back to sleep

Getting enough sleep when you’re stressed can be particularly difficult because your stress keeps you thinking all night. I’m not immune to this. During particularly stressful times I keep a piece of paper beside the bed so I can write down any ideas that happen to wake me up. Then I go back to sleep. Not because it’s easy, but because I’ve decided that it’s my strategy. I tell myself that the best thing I can do about such-and-such is get enough sleep and deal with it in the morning. It’s a conscious decision. When you go about sleep in this manner you can justify getting a good night’s sleep as part of your action plan.
Whatever you do… Don’t check Twitter. Don’t do it. Just don’t. Nobody is on Twitter at 3am anyway. You’re just going to wake your mind up for no reason.

3. I Remember “It’s not about me”.

I think the situations that are most likely to cause me stress are the times when demands on me are really high. Especially when I don’t get my “me time”. I’m a little bit selfish about my “me time”. But honestly, this situation, this life, isn’t about me. It’s about how well I reflect Jesus to the world. Jesus needed his me time. He got up early to be alone to pray. He even went to such lengths as walking (across a lake) when he could have hitched a ride (in a boat… he really like his alone time). But even when he really needed that alone time and people needed him, he didn’t get all snippy and complain that he was “just off today because I didn’t get my me time…” (Of course, I just made that up, I’d never say anything like that… maybe…) He remembered that he was an emissary of God. He was the face man. When he left, he sent the Holy Spirit to help us be the representatives of God. So, it’s not about me, even though when the boy interrupts my me time, or the baby interrupts my sleep, I’d really like it to be.

4. I Move.

I feel so much better if I exercise. Plus I look better. This makes me feel even better. I can get through the most stressful situations if I know that my body is doing good things. I wish I could go back in time to the new mom me. My advice would be, don’t bother even getting those babies dressed, just stuff them in the stroller and go outside. You need fresh air and exercise. Right now I’m doing the single mom thing, exercise is difficult. I bought a video and I do it when I put the littles to bed.

5. I do something fun/mindless.

I watch TV, or football, or I read or write. Anything that isn’t the thing that causes me stress. I may even fit in some apple picking.

6. I try to keep things as normal as possible for the kids.

Bedtimes, school schedules (even if it’s a reduced school schedule), meals. Kids who know what’s going to happen next are happy kids. And happy kids don’t add to the stress.

7. I let go and let God.

Sorry. I’ve heard this so many times. What does that even mean? One time I was at a seminar, and the speaker actually had us whisper what stressed us out into our hands and then hold up our hands and wiggle our fingers to release it to God. There, now we won’t worry about that any more. Seriously. God isn’t one of those Honduran Dream Dolls that you whisper your problems to and put under your pillow.

7. (revised) I understand that God has a plan.

I believe that God has a plan. He has a plan for humanity, and he has a specific plan for my life. Prayer helps me understand the plan for my life, Bible reading helps me understand the big picture. I believe that this stressful situation is part of God’s plan. This change, this challenge, is affecting my life and the lives of those I come in contact with. Sometimes I see the result. Sometimes I don’t. But I believe that it’s part of The Plan. That makes stressful situations so much easier to deal with.

So, we have six weeks until we move to Bangkok. Things are just a bit stressful at this point. They’re going to get even more as I try to fit a major move into real life. These are some of the things I do when things get stressful, but I’d really appreciate hearing how you deal with stress. Then I can print the whole thing out and put it on the fridge.

Cheater Chili Soup

I really wanted to call this “There’s nobody here but us chickens.” That would have been so way funnier. But I figured that nobody would know what this post was about. You’ll get it by the end of this, but even if you don’t, I made myself laugh and since I’m like, 20% of the readership I’m doing pretty good statistically with my humor.

I’ve recently started cutting out meat. Not entirely. But many of my meals are meatless now, or contain less meat. Why? Well, a few reasons. The original one is my niece is a vegetarian. Not one of those pushing evangelizing vegetarians… she just doesn’t eat meat. If you ask why, she’ll answer your questions, but she doesn’t push her opinion. She just lives her life, and does amazing things like running 40km in the Alps non-stop. This sortof makes you wonder if there isn’t something to the reputed health benefits of vegetarianism.

Another reason is I’m becoming more aware of the poor conditions on big farms. Not just for the animals, but for the people too. This makes me think, maybe I should get to know the farmers producing my food. So this summer I’ve been eating local produce.

The thing that put it over the edge though, was the chickens. National Geographic did a spread a while ago about these chickens in the UK that had been adopted from factory egg farms. Instead of being made into soup, they began long and (eventually) healthy lives as free range chickens. In one of the pictures a chicken was shown wearing a sweater. Because it had. no. feathers. No feathers. Were they all plucked out by another chicken? Was it because the chicken was nutritionally depleted from power laying that it couldn’t grow feathers? If that’s the case, how much nutrition is actually in that pale yellow egg…

I started buying my eggs locally too.

My egg lady is Alyson McNish. She’s great. I like her. I’ve met the chickens. They have a cute little house that you would totally love to live in. Their yard is huge. They just run around being their own free chicken selves. And the eggs are amazing. Dark yolks, amazing texture, hard shells… (that’s because the chickens are well fed.) When we do buy beef we get it from her too. The cows are happy. The beef is good and not loaded up with hormones and naturally aged, not sprayed with a bunch of chemicals. If you live in the Brockville area you can find her phone number here…

While she was away on holidays I ran out of eggs. I had to buy them somewhere else. The farm where I buy my veggies also sells eggs. Not their eggs, but local eggs. I could buy the eggs from there.. maybe. The conversation went like this.

me: where are your eggs from
her: name of the farm…
me:…..intense stare…
her: they’re free range.
me: have you actually met the chickens?
awkward silence
me: um, how much are they?

Thankfully Alyson was only gone for a little while.

So, not eating alot of meat. If I cut out meat all together I become the most annoying dinner guest in the world. The gluten-free vegetarian.

You might have one of these in your life. If you do, I’ve come to the rescue. I have a fast easy recipe that you’ll love, and your gluten-free vegetarian will love, and you probably have the ingredients for in your house right now. I actually keep the ingredients on hand for the “hey we’re stopping by for lunch” emails that I occasionally get.

Cheater Chili Soup

Ingredients:

1 can beans (black beans or kidney beans or…) drained and rinsed
1 can diced tomatoes
4 cups broth (and don’t sneak here, if you’re serving a real vegetarian, get vegetable broth)
2 Tablespoons chili powder (or to taste)

optional:
1 onion thinly sliced
1 bell pepper thinly sliced
other vegetables you think might be good in this (but not carrots. Carrots would not be good in this.)
1 can tomato sauce to thicken
tortilla chips to garnish
fresh chopped cilantro to garnish

Put all ingredients in a pot. Cook until hot. If you added veggies, cook until veggies are tender.
Or if you want, you can put the whole mess in the crock pot.

The best part about this easy recipe is you can add more to it if it turns out that you’re going to have more guests than you anticipated, or if everyone loves it so much that they eat more than you think they will.

I’ve linked up with Alicia at Confessions of a Snowflake for her Weight Loss Wednesday recipe swap. Her Weightloss Wednesday (actually everything on her blog) is very encouraging. You should check it out.

Thailand Countdown – 9 weeks

We have nine weeks until we leave for Bangkok. It’s hard to believe that this season of our lives is almost over. The past year and a half in Canada has been like a 1950s fantasy in parenting. Little boys on bikes. Teens going for ice cream and to the library. Baby playing in the back yard. Friends for coffee. Sleep overs. Safety.

What am I doing at this stage of the game?

I’m starting to get rid of stuff.

My closet is empty except for what I actually wear and still fit into. All the post-baby clothes that were super cute but a bit too big are gone. All the sweet blouses that would look really great on probably anyone with a speck of fashion sense but that I could never get to go with anything are awaiting a thrifty and stylish new owner at Good Will.

My book collection has been pared down to the bare minimum. Book lovers and homeschoolers, I’ll spare you the details. The books are still in boxes in my sunroom. I’m waiting for the homestudy results for their prospective new owners.

I’m making appointments.

The kids see the dentist on Wednesday. We were able to squeeze our whole family into 6 appointments spread over 2 days at the dr’s office the week before we leave. Yup. They’re booked solid for the next 8 weeks.

I’m doing paper work.

We go this week to get Scott’s visa. Then we have to apply for mine and the kids’. An amazing church has just sent us the application for support and I’m filling that out. I’m writing thank you cards to the people who’ve recently come on as partners, and I’m planning on writing to each of those that have been with us from the beginning.

I’m crying a little.

It’s been a really nice ride here in Brockville. The kids all have alot of really nice friends. Our house is always busy and full. I have lots of other moms to have coffee with. Our families are nearby and we haven’t spent nearly enough time with them. We actually live in a house, in a neighborhood and we’re going to miss all this “normal”.

I’m potty training the baby.

And cooking meals, and doing excessive amounts of laundry, and putting the garbage out and mowing the lawn and teaching 4th grade math and facilitating high school. Because life is still happening, and Scott’s still in Pittsburgh.

Finally, I’m believing

I’m trusting God that the rest of our finances will come in. We have our first year fully paid for, and we have a good percentage of the rest of our term covered. We have the most amazing, encouraging partners. If you’d like to be part of our ministry, you can go here for more info.
I’m trusting that He has friends and good experiences lined up for the kids. God doesn’t just call mom and dad. He calls the whole family and he knows what’s best for each person in it.
I’m believing that the “new normal” will be as wonderful as He’s promised.

My Hearing Problem

I have a hearing problem.

If you know me sort of well, this may come as a surprise.

If you know me really well, you’re rolling your eyes right now.

My hearing problems isn’t a physical one. There’s nothing wrong with my ears. I may even hear some noises better than most people. My hearing problem happens somewhere between my ears and my brain. Things don’t always make it all the way up.

If I’m talking to you, I hear you just fine. Everything you say goes straight up the ear wires to the brain. All Good. If the TV is on in the back ground, most of what you say gets mixed in with what the actors are saying. Sometimes this causes some confusion on the brain end. “Did she just ask me if I could see Swiper? Um, no. No idea what she did say, but it couldn’t have been that”
If I’m watching TV, I need the subtitles on. Otherwise my brain will delete the whole experience from the hard drive. Tomorrow I could watch the same TV show and it would be all brand new.

Because of this “condition” (someone tried to tell me what it was, if you can appreciate the irony of that) it often appears that I’m not really paying attention. I am! I’m really trying! But it’s very tiring trying to sort out directions to the library from the staticky country music. (Do I turn left at the bar? Wait, there’s a bar on that corner? Did she say bar?)

Despite the obvious draw backs, there are some benefits to my hearing problem.
The first is I understand kids. I think maybe my ear wires never grew up. (Um, if you’re judging here, grown-up translation: the neural pathways are underdeveloped). I notice that kids have a hard time sorting out ambient noise from directions I’m trying to give them. Because of this, I can totally forgive someone if I’ve told the room that we’re all going to the store, get your shoes on, and they didn’t hear me.

The second benefit is it’s given me an opportunity to think about my Spiritual Ears. If I can’t hear from my physical ears if the guy behind us is on his cell phone, how well do I hear out of my spiritual ears with all the clutter I’ve allowed in my spiritual life?

Those past hurts, things I won’t let go of? Spiritual staticky country music. My tendency towards being a bit of a thrill seeker before I’m a God seeker? Spiritual Super Hero cartoon. Distractions, business… A spiritual guy talking on his spiritual (wait, I think you get the point, no more analogy, sorry for pushing it)

All these things interfere with my ability to hear God. You see, he doesn’t try to get my attention the way certain family members have learned to (yelling loudly and urgently and repeatedly until I clue in), His is a still, small voice and if there’s too much background noise, I miss it.